It’s taken me years to realise greymatter
can harm just as much
as any grassfire.
Learning to sit in water’s blush, the push &
pull of it. Some days it’s like trying
to communicate with someone
long dead in a dream.
The closer your hand gets
the further mine pulls away.
The thing I’m not telling you
is for as long as I can remember some
thing has sat on my chest, tried to strangle
me
& it has failed.